Single's Only!!!

Every Romance Starts with A Smile, 4 Myths about Inviting a Man to Approach You with a Smile

KAT0002 — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 11:34:55 -0800

This is what Laura Doyle has to say about making yourself more approachable to men. I think she makes some good points. Do you agree or disagree?

Myth # 1 "You shouldn't be friendly with a stranger"

Laura says: Your'e a grown woman; it's children, whose judgment is undeveloped, who shouldn't get too friendly with strangers. For you, it's fine. You're big enough now to tell people to go away when they're bothering you and to know whether it's okay to get into a car with somebody. You now have an adult with you to protect you at all time--yourself.

Myth #2: "No one respets a flirtatious woman."

Laura says: A simple smile, though, is neither pandering or belittling. You needn't be sugary sweet nor sexual when you smile. You can just smile--nothing more. It is simply a signal that says you're open and friendly. Be yourself, but be your friendliest self.

Myth #3: "When you smile at a man, he gets the wrong idea."

Laura says: A smile can mean many things. It can be nothing mroe than a friendly greeting, an acknowledgment that you've noticed someone who's noticed you--an end in itself. It can be an invitation for conversation. A smile is a way to show approval or pleasure. Smiling at someone, however, is not a promise.

Myth #4: "When you smile at a man, you're out of control; you don't know how he'll respond or what will follow."

Laura says: Okay, so this one isn't a myth. It's true that a smile may cause a man to approach you or talk to you, and you may not want to talk to every man you see. You don't have to. You can simply end the conversations that don't interest you but linger for the ones that do.

Author: Laura Doyle

7 Dating Topics To Avoid

KAT0002 — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:48:15 -0800

Dating Topics to Avoid

by eHarmony Advice

So you're on a date with someone you find gorgeous, smart, funny and charming – but you're not sure what to talk about. If you really want a second date with this person, do not start with the things you should NEVER talk about on a first date. Here are seven dating topics to avoid on a first date – and likely the second and third dates, as well!

1. Sickness and Health

Research has shown that, subconsciously, people look for healthy mates to settle down with. While marriage may not be on your mind, you still want to avoid telling your date about your bad back, sinus infections, ingrown toenails or anything else in the sickness and health category. It's important to get to know your date a little better before pulling out your medical chart and immunization records.

Find Someone Special With...
First Name: I'm a: Please select... Man seeking a Woman Woman seeking a Man ZIP Code: Email: Use your email to log in
Confirm Email: Password: Must be at least 5 characters
Sign In
powered by

2. Your Shortcomings

Almost everyone could pick out one or two things that they don't really like about themselves. However, it's not a good idea to do this on your first date. Confidence is one of the things that attract men and women alike, and dwelling on your faults will not help you exude confidence.

In fact, if you talk about how you hate your hair or wish you had someone else's bottom, it might come across as a desperate round of fishing for compliments. If your faults or insecurities are bothering you, keep them to yourself and think about your positive traits. Remember also that when you find the right person for you, those traits that you don't like will be accepted and cherished because they are part of you.

3. Your Date's Faults

This is a very sticky subject. If you notice things about your date that are a little less than perfect, don't point them out – unless you really don't want to see that person again. Even then, it would be rude and tactless.

Maybe you know that your date is feeling a little self-conscious about something, so you want to reassure him or her. Rather than pointing out the thing that person feels self-conscious about, choose a positive thing about your date and comment on that. Be honest and thoughtful by complimenting your date on the wonderful things about him or her.

4) How Much Money You Make

Again – a bit of a sticky subject. If you make great money and you mention it, you could come across as obnoxious and pretentious. If you don't earn a great paycheck, it could seem as if you're looking for approval – which makes you seem desperate. The amount of money you make really isn't that important in matters of love, anyway. Save this for a later time.

5) Your Future Plans

If you start discussing marriage, children and vacation packages on your first date, chances are good that you won't see a second date. Regardless of whether you're a man or woman, these topics are pretty frightening when you're just meeting someone. It can make your date think that he or she is on a job interview to be your future spouse, and that person will quit before you even consider hiring him or her!

If you have children, of course it's fine to tell your date about them, but other than that, leave those types of topics alone. Those things are best discussed after feelings have developed between two people – not on the first date!

6) Politics

All right, on some occasions, it's okay to talk about politics on a first date. However, if you are very passionate about your beliefs, it's probably not a good idea. In order for two people to discuss politics in a calm, pleasant way, they must both either be very open minded or agree completely. In most cases, politics are not a great first-date conversation topic.

7) Ex-Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Spouses or Other Dates

You knew this was coming, didn't you? You should never bring up someone from your romantic past on a first date. It can make your current date feel as if you've got some emotional baggage that needs to be addressed, and most of the time, he or she will not want to see you again. After all, how can you pursue a current relationship when you're hung up on a past one? Avoid talking about exes in any fashion on a first date.

By knowing the seven topics to avoid discussing on your first date, you'll talk about only those things that are safe to discuss. This will help you score that all-important second date and get to know that person better!

10 Reasons Why He Won't Commit

KAT0002 — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:48:38 -0800

10 Reasons Why He Won't Commit

Posted Nov 12th 2008 12:39PM
by Tony Horkins, eHarmony Advice

As far as you're concerned, you've found "the one" – only he isn't quite ready to be your "number two." He resolutely refuses to indicate his commitment. So how come you're ready to settle down, yet he isn't? Here are 10 possible reasons why he won't commit.

1) He's Not Over His Ex
Well, of course he says he's completely over his ex. There's even a chance he believed it himself too – and that it took getting involved with another woman for him to realize he wasn't. While it's difficult to admit to yourself – and to each other – that you could be his rebound girl, it's best to discover the truth as early as possible. Look for signs of his lingering feelings – especially if an unusually short amount of time has passed between that relationship and yours. The number one sign: a fridge-mounted or framed photo of his ex that has yet to make it to the back of the drawer.

2) He Had a Bad Experience with his Ex
If he's still bearing the scars from a bad breakup, chances are that he's not ready to leap into another one. Depending on how badly that relationship ended, it could take him some time to realize that you're not going to cause the same damage. Right now, he may be looking for signs that it's all going to go to hell in a handbasket – and, of course, the more he looks, the more he'll find. It'll take a fair degree of patience on your side to get beyond this.

Find Someone Ready to Commit With...
First Name: I'm a: Please select... Man seeking a Woman Woman seeking a Man ZIP Code: Email: Use your email to log in
Confirm Email: Password: Must be at least 5 characters
Sign In
powered by

3) There's Someone Else in the Picture
If you've not officially declared yourselves "exclusive" or if your boyfriend has a history as a double-dater, he could be sidetracked by other opportunities. Some men like to keep their options up in the air for as long as possible before making a decision, and unfortunately, you could be the unwitting victim. Watch out for the obvious signs – mysterious schedules, dubious stories, regular periods when he is incommunicado – and if you're still concerned, ask him straight out.

4) He's Totally Happy with His Life
Despite dipping their toes into the dating pool, some men actually don't want a girlfriend. Sure, he may enjoy the companionship and those other relationship benefits, but only as an adjunct to the rest of his life. If his priorities are his friends, his hobbies or even his basic "me" time, he's only going to have a little extra room for the joy and wonder of you ? which is fair enough, unless you're wanting a more central position in your partner's life. If you do, you may have to look elsewhere.

5) It's All About the Money
Money can be an issue in many relationships, but it can also stop a man from committing to a relationship in the first place. Maybe his focus is on work and he wants to become more established and earn a decent wage ? maybe own his own home too ? before channeling his energy and time into a relationship. Or perhaps he's seen firsthand how a divorce can destroy a man's financial standing, and he's just not ready to take that risk. In the first case, he'll need to know that you understand his ambitions and that you won't get in the way; in the second, offering a prenuptial agreement (while it may not sound romantic) could put his mind at rest.

6) He's a Romance Junkie
Some men are addicted to the process or even just the idea of falling in love. They love the flirting, the first dates, the getting-to-know-you stage and the chance to tell all their stories to fresh ears. Once they have passed this stage, however, they're bored and ready for the next bit of excitement. Again, check out his relationship history to see if your man is a romance junkie; look out for a number of one- and two-month relationships.

7) He's Feeling Pushed
Sometimes even willing partners can feel so pressured into being in a relationship that they'll run away. Men – and women too ? generally need a little time to figure out if a certain person is the one they want to spend the rest of their life with, and they don't like to feel that they're being coerced into making a decision. So while it's important that he knows how you feel, don't discuss your first home together or your favorite baby names until you've had the time to genuinely establish a relationship.

He's Not Ready for the Responsibility
Along with powerful love come great responsibilities, but not every would-be romantic is quite ready for them. So while he may be thoroughly enjoying your time together, perhaps he's not at a point in his life where he wants to truly consider someone else's point of view. He likes you, but he's not ready to mop your brow when you're sick or comfort you when you lose a pet, preferring an easy-breezy – and yes, selfish – lifestyle instead. And if your biological clock is ticking, he might not want to be around when the alarm goes off. Or, if you already have kids, he may not be ready for the whole family package.

9) He Only Wants Sex
Who would believe it? Some men want to be in a relationship simply so they have easy access to sex. For these men, the old saying rings true: Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? Why should they commit to a deeper, longer-term relationship if all they're after is what they're already getting?

Find "The One" With...
First Name: I'm a: Please select... Man seeking a Woman Woman seeking a Man ZIP Code: Email: Use your email to log in
Confirm Email: Password: Must be at least 5 characters
Sign In
powered by

10) You're Just Not that One
We all know of the "he's just not that into you" syndrome, but why would he even bother if he weren't? Simply because it's easy, it's there and it's available. You are an enjoyable part of his life – but regrettably, a not-too-important part. He knows you're not "the one," but he kind of likes hanging out and, to put it bluntly, you'll do until something better comes along. He may not even be conscious of how callous that is; instead, he is just mildly aware of an underlying feeling that this is not forever.

So, consider whether any of these may be a reason for his lack of commitment. If you're looking for something more permanent, it's your move.

How to Survive a Blind Date by Tim Blackstock

KAT0002 — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 18:13:13 -0800

Eyes Wide Open - How to Survive A Blind Date

By Tim Blackstock

"You've got to meet her; dude, she's hot!" "He's a great guy. If I weren't already taken, I'd go out with him myself."

Ah, friends. They laugh with us, tell us when we have spinach in our teeth and if we're lucky, they'll try and set us up with someone who is just perfect for us. And if we're really lucky - they do it more than once.

The blind date. We hear about the success stories but more than often we hear about the disasters or, even worse, the non-spark, no big deal stories. Our friends, it seems, don't know us as well as they think they do.

Face it, part of the excitement (or stress) of the blind date is wondering if our friends do have enough insight to actually select someone who could potentially be a long term partner. For those rare times when you have that spontaneous combustion, we are relieved everything turned out ok. For those times when it was a complete disaster, we wonder if we should ever speak with our friends again, and for those times that are just plain uneventful, a slap across the back of their head would make us feel better. If only there was some way to make the process less stressful and more enjoyable whether the sparks fly or not...

How to Have a Successful Blind Date

Your blind date can be as successful as the date where you made the arrangements yourself. It doesn't mean the date will turn into a second date; it doesn't mean the two of you will even like each other. What it means is you won't want to rip your hair out and your friend's face off. Listen to us - we won't lead you blind.

Step One - Don't Believe What Your Friends Tell You

Your friends are blind. They are blinded by their thinking they've done something wonderful by finding the exact person you've been waiting for. They're blinded by their own good deed to really be thinking about you. So when they tell you they've found that perfect person, don't believe them. Instead, enter the situation having no expectations at all. You are going out on a first date and nothing more. Don't expect the earth to move unless you're having dinner at a construction site.

Step Two - Treat it like another Date

Call to introduce yourself or call back if they make the introductory call. Find out some likes and dislikes if you're the one making the arrangements. Offer suggestions if you're the one being asked about what you'd like to do. Keep it simple. Keep it fun. Keep it real. Be on time. Be prepared to talk. Be prepared to want to hear about the other person and engage them in conversation. This is a date created by a unique circumstance but you still need to have your A game. This isn't the time to try a new personality or do something you wouldn't normally do - you're already doing something unusual. Let the strangeness end there.

Step Three - Inexpensive is OK, Cheap Is Out and Breaking the Bank is Just Plain Foolish

There's nothing wrong with meeting for a free concert in the park if that's what the two of you agree to do. But make sure you don't buy her a hot dog from the vendor if the usual fare is everyone brings their own picnic. A nice bottle of wine. A lunch that is slightly upscale but not one that would break the bank and also tastes good is a guarantee that something goes right even if the two of you decide never to see each other again.

Also, don't try to impress him/her by suggesting or going to the most expensive place in town. Dating rules apply to blind dates as well as those with all eyes open. Unless you're used to going or be taken to upscale, five star any place, do what you normally do. You'll find out soon enough whether you're with someone who feels entitled or unimpressed. You don't need to break the budget and you shouldn't expect to on the first date.

Step Four - Don't Go To A Movie

To go to a movie, you have to know how to be quiet with a person and you won't know how to do that until you know how to speak to each other and when you go to a movie, you have to know how to do both and you don't know how to do either yet. So just don't go.

Step Five - End On A High Note

Unless the two of you were at each other's throats, the evening probably wasn't bad. You acted well, stayed true to who you were and didn't have unrealistic expectations. If you had enough of a great time that you would like to see him/her again. Say so - simply and easily. Tell them you would like to see them again and ask if you can call or ask that they call you.

If it was nice, but something you wouldn't want to repeat, don't be rude about it. Remember, you have a friend who thought you would be good together so play nice a little longer. You can tell the truth that you'll probably see them around here and there and it will be nice to see a yet another friendly face. Don't worry - it's a rare thing that one person would rate the date a ten and the other a one. We know when something clicks and when it doesn't.

Besides, if you followed step one, you didn't over invest emotionally enough to be heartbroken.

Step Six - Be Willing to do it Again

At best, you might meet some interesting people; get some new friends, and perhaps a solid relationship. At worse, you've got some stories to share at the next party.

How do you feel about online dating sites?

KAT0002 — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 13:34:07 -0800

Online dating sites are becoming really popular nowadays. I know a few single ladies that have turned to online dating. How do feel you about online dating sites? Do you think that ones where people have to pay mean that people are taking dating more seriously?

Want to Date a Rich Man? Cosmo Let's You In On How To And What It's Like

Kelliegrl — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:04:39 -0700

Cosmopolitan

Fascinating Facts About Rich Guys
Whether you're just curious about men with money or on a mission to snag one, here's the scoop on where they hang, what they do for a living, and the kind of mates they make.

Landing a loaded guy has long been a fantasy for some females. In fact, your own mother may have even quipped that it’s just as easy to fall for a wealthy man as it is a poor one. And high-income dudes (those earning $104,000 and up, as defined by the Tax Foundation Group in Washington, DC) are on our radar even more thanks to such shows as The Hills, Gossip Girl, and The Millionaire Matchmaker.

Plus, statistically, they’re on the rise. According to the 2007 Wealth Report, there are more richies in the world than ever: 9.5 million people are earning at least $1 million annually, and 94,970 are pulling in at least $30 million each year. Here, the lowdown on boys with mad bank.

Many Aren’t Making Money the Old-Fashioned Way
In the past, you would expect ambitious moneymakers to be MBA holders firmly entrenched in the financial world. “These days, though many young guys work for big-risk, big-reward hedge funds, more and more are successfully combining their creativity with their technological savvy,” says Haitao Li, PhD, professor of finance at the University of Michigan. Here are some high-profile wealthy Web entrepreneurs.

Mark Zuckerberg, 23, founder of Facebook...$1.5 billion
Andrew Gower, 29, founder of Runescape...$216 million
Chad Hurley, 30, cofounder of You Tube...$300 million
Andrew Michael, 29, founder of FastHosts...$87 million
You’ll Find Them at Hotel Bars and Upscale Steak Houses
"When rich guys travel, they stay at posh hotels because they expect the best of everything," says Janis Spindel, matchmaker for wealthy professionals. And at dinner, they don’t settle for anything less than grade-A beef, so four-star steak houses are prime ground for high-powered business types. Before sitting down to rack up the bill (on the company expense account, of course), they’ll probably hit the bar first.

They Live in Some Surprising Places
The research firm Teasley ranked the following United States cities as having the best ratio of rich, single men to women.

1. San Francisco Bay area
2. Anchorage, Alaska
3. Washington, D.C./Baltimore
4. Sheboygan, Wisconsin
5. Naples, Florida
6. Minneapolis/Saint Paul
7. Rochester, Minnesota
8. Boston
9. Fort Walton Beach, Florida
10. Dallas

They Have Gold-Digger Radar
Most people want to be loved for who they are, not what they do. And that includes wealthy men. “Gold diggers do not give off a cute vibe,” says one successful 27-year-old investment banker. “They feign interest in your profession, only hang around when you’re headed to the most exclusive restaurant or club, and then often invite nine of their closest friends to tag along.”

They’re Naughty!
High-income men are the group most likely to use the Web for adult entertainment, such as porn, according to the Luxury Institute. And 75 percent of wealthy men from a study by Prince and Associates and wealth consultant Hannah Shaw Grove said that more frequent sex and more partners are two benefits of being rich; 33 percent are even members of the mile-high club.

They Feel Entitled to Arm Candy…
Yeah, it may sound shallow, but according to Donna Spangler, author of How to Get a Rich Man, cashed-up guys think they deserve to be with trophy women, or women they deem prizeworthy. Says Spangler: “They want you to be extremely beautiful, be able to plan social schedules, and have good manners.”

...But They Don’t Want to Marry a Dummy Either
Eighty-nine percent of high-achieving (and presumably high-earning) men report that they marry or would like to marry a woman who is just as or more intelligent than they are, says Christine Whelan, PhD, author of Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women. Also, 92 percent of men who describe themselves as "successful" or "very successful" say they are more attracted to women who are also kicking ass in their careers. Go you.

Brunettes Pull More Cash-Flush Dudes
Blond is reputed to be the sexiest hair color, but according to a survey by Lycos, 62 percent of the world’s top 100 billionaires’ wives and girlfriends are brunettes. What’s still unclear: whether these rich men seek out darker-haired women or if there are just more of them out there (fair hair is rarer).

They Pony Up, So to Speak
Polo Ralph Lauren is the brand most likely to be purchased by wealthy male shoppers when buying goodies for themselves. The rest of the list includes Calvin Klein, Armani, Coach, and Burberry.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating/Fascinating-Facts-About-Rich...

5 Types of Chemistry

Kelliegrl — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:32:14 -0700

Why guys go for outta-their-league ladies

Kelliegrl — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:15:09 -0700

Fulfillment and the Single Girl Part 2

Kelliegrl — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 08:53:17 -0700

Fulfillment and the Single Girl Part 1

Kelliegrl — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 08:52:03 -0700