Dating Topics to Avoid

by eHarmony Advice

So you're on a date with someone you find gorgeous, smart, funny and charming – but you're not sure what to talk about. If you really want a second date with this person, do not start with the things you should NEVER talk about on a first date. Here are seven dating topics to avoid on a first date – and likely the second and third dates, as well!

1. Sickness and Health

Research has shown that, subconsciously, people look for healthy mates to settle down with. While marriage may not be on your mind, you still want to avoid telling your date about your bad back, sinus infections, ingrown toenails or anything else in the sickness and health category. It's important to get to know your date a little better before pulling out your medical chart and immunization records.

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2. Your Shortcomings

Almost everyone could pick out one or two things that they don't really like about themselves. However, it's not a good idea to do this on your first date. Confidence is one of the things that attract men and women alike, and dwelling on your faults will not help you exude confidence.

In fact, if you talk about how you hate your hair or wish you had someone else's bottom, it might come across as a desperate round of fishing for compliments. If your faults or insecurities are bothering you, keep them to yourself and think about your positive traits. Remember also that when you find the right person for you, those traits that you don't like will be accepted and cherished because they are part of you.

3. Your Date's Faults

This is a very sticky subject. If you notice things about your date that are a little less than perfect, don't point them out – unless you really don't want to see that person again. Even then, it would be rude and tactless.

Maybe you know that your date is feeling a little self-conscious about something, so you want to reassure him or her. Rather than pointing out the thing that person feels self-conscious about, choose a positive thing about your date and comment on that. Be honest and thoughtful by complimenting your date on the wonderful things about him or her.

4) How Much Money You Make

Again – a bit of a sticky subject. If you make great money and you mention it, you could come across as obnoxious and pretentious. If you don't earn a great paycheck, it could seem as if you're looking for approval – which makes you seem desperate. The amount of money you make really isn't that important in matters of love, anyway. Save this for a later time.

5) Your Future Plans

If you start discussing marriage, children and vacation packages on your first date, chances are good that you won't see a second date. Regardless of whether you're a man or woman, these topics are pretty frightening when you're just meeting someone. It can make your date think that he or she is on a job interview to be your future spouse, and that person will quit before you even consider hiring him or her!

If you have children, of course it's fine to tell your date about them, but other than that, leave those types of topics alone. Those things are best discussed after feelings have developed between two people – not on the first date!

6) Politics

All right, on some occasions, it's okay to talk about politics on a first date. However, if you are very passionate about your beliefs, it's probably not a good idea. In order for two people to discuss politics in a calm, pleasant way, they must both either be very open minded or agree completely. In most cases, politics are not a great first-date conversation topic.

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7) Ex-Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Spouses or Other Dates

You knew this was coming, didn't you? You should never bring up someone from your romantic past on a first date. It can make your current date feel as if you've got some emotional baggage that needs to be addressed, and most of the time, he or she will not want to see you again. After all, how can you pursue a current relationship when you're hung up on a past one? Avoid talking about exes in any fashion on a first date.

By knowing the seven topics to avoid discussing on your first date, you'll talk about only those things that are safe to discuss. This will help you score that all-important second date and get to know that person better!